Best Or Worst Jokes?

[dmcefc]

just a few to kick us off,

Q= how do you get a pikachu on a bus?
A= poke him on

two cows in a field one goes "moooo" and the other says "oi you bastard i was going to say that.

Q= what kind of bees produce milk?
A= boobies

Q= how do you make a bunny drink?
A= put it in a blender

Q= how do you make a cat go woof?
A= cover it in petrol and light a match

[DaBatman01]

if someone eats cereal for breakfast what does that make them???

~a serial killer


XD like cereal??? serial??? cereal????
haha
i'm sorry
i love that joke
^____^

[Thomas-Manuel]

A really bad joke:

Hi! We are Daft Punk!

[Linden]

LOL those are great jokes.
heres a couple:
"I once had an ant farm and they didn't grow ****"

"I haven't slept for 10 days cuz that would be to long"

"last week I helped a friend 'stay put' cuz it was hellova lot easier then packing **** up

"my friend asked me if i wanted a frozen banana but i said no but i would like a regular banana later so yea"

"i got my hair highlighted cuz i thought some hairs were better then others"

"i wrote my friend a letter the other day using a highlighting pen but he just thought i was showing him important pieces of paper"

"i got my plam read the other day but i wrote something on my plam first to see if she would read it too"

"I always wanted to be a nascar passanger, the guy who annoys the racecar driver.' can i turn on the radio?'can i put my feet out the window?'
'why do we keep driving in circles?'
'man u sure do like tide'

"i think big foot is just blurry, it's not the photographers fault which is scary for me cuz theres a large out of focus creature raoming the country"

"heres a picture of me when i was younger'Dude all of ur pictures are of u when ur younger"

"in a traffic light green means go, red means stop, yellow means slow down, but with a banana it the complete opposite, green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did u get that banana at"

"i'm against picketing but i don't know how to show it."

"i like a vending machine cuz i like candy that falls.often when i buy a chocolate bar at a store i drop it so it reaches its maximum flavour potential"

my fav jokes from Mitch Hedberg

[DaBatman01]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.



and here are some stupid labels on some common items...

Sears hairdryer--> Do not use while sleeping

dessert cakes--->(printed on the bottom of the package) do not turn upside down

Swanson Frozen Dinners-->Serving suggestion: Defrost (but it's just a suggestion right???)

Nytol Sleeping Aid-->Warning: May cause drowsiness (isn't that the point??)

on a bag of peanuts-->warning: contains nuts

[CJVercetti]

[quote1203913377=dmcefc]
Q= how do you make a cat go woof?
A= cover it in petrol and light a match
[/quote1203913377]
NEDM!!!

[Daniel_Rider]

[quote1203922952=Linden]
LOL those are great jokes.
heres a couple:
1."I once had an ant farm and they didn't grow ****"

2. "i think big foot is just blurry, it's not the photographers fault which is scary for me cuz theres a large out of focus creature raoming the country"

3. "heres a picture of me when i was younger'Dude all of ur pictures are of u when ur younger"
[/quote1203922952]
1. "plus, if i ripped your legs off, u would look like snow men."

2. "run hes fuzzy!"

3. " heres a picture of me when im older. You sonofabitch! lemme see that camera..."
i (l) mitch hedberg.

[dmcefc]

one of my friends wanted to commit suicide,i wanted to help, so i pushed him in front of a steam train
he was chuffed to bits

[Daniel_Rider]

what did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

dam...

[dmcefc]

viagra-
apparently they're making it in eyedrop form now
they make you look hard


what's got four legs and an arm
a pitbull in a playground